Transitioning to another culture – Learning about change

I have been facilitating a VisualsSpeak session on the first day of the Tailoring Training for Transitions class at the Summer Institute for Intercultural Communication for four years. The class is geared toward people who help others prepare to go abroad to work or study, often for extended periods of time.

It is a five-day class taught by Peggy Pusch and Bruce LaBrack. They have been teaching this class together for over a decade. The first time they created VisualsSpeak images together, Peggy almost ran Bruce off the table. Her image had lots of photos placed at angles to one another extending across the whole table. Bruce contained his close to the size of the background rectangle. I believe his was hanging off the edge of the table by the end of the process. Two very different professionals finding common ground by approaching the topic from different perspectives.

We use a complex framing question to immerse students in the process: ‘Who were you before the transition?’ ‘Who were you while you were going through it?’ ‘Who were you after you returned?’

Individuals flex the framing questions to reflect their own circumstances. For example, if they have never spent extended time abroad, they might choose another significant life transition. In this environment, we also see people who never go back home, but continue to travel or live in a series of places around the world. Others may select just one of their repeated journeys.

It has been interesting to see multiple classes explore this topic in the same way. Last year the process took all afternoon and continued into the next morning. This year, they were done in a little over an hour. Last year there were lots of tears and surfacing of deep hurts around some of the experiences. This year the descriptions were more matter of fact. I’ve talked to numerous people who have reported that they uncovered aspects of transitions they thought they had already dealt with, only to have a lot of emotion emerge when talking about their images. So far, participants have felt that surfacing the emotions has been helpful offering another opportunity to work through an experience that had been left unfinished.

What have I learned?

I have never lived abroad. I’ve been through some powerful transitions, but there is something about going to a place where things aren’t the same as you are used to that is beyond what I have done in my life. I’ve heard story after story about feeling totally overwhelmed, disjointed, frustrated, and utterly alone at some point in the process. I’ve also heard people say they feel empowered, transformed, and never the same again. Witnessing the power of the stories helps me to realize it is not an experience to be entered into lightly.

I’m also not bi-cultural. The stories about moving to the US from other places have touched me deeply. While I think I had some compassion for those who come here with limited English, I have been deeply touched by the stories of trying to assimilate into a new place while holding onto the the roots of your native culture. Stories of being straddled between parents from two places, or parents and friends, and wondering what is real. I thought it was tough to be a teen in the US. I can’t imagine what its like to navigate being a teenager and crossing cultures at the same time. Judging from the emotion I have witnessed from people remembering back, it is much harder than I imagined.

I always imagined that people who jouney to a new place with family form deep ties that help them through the process. I’ve learned it’s not always so. Individuals go through the transitions differently, and it may or may not sync up with loved ones. Even being around the ones closest to you there can be many times of feeling very isolated.

How does this make me a better trainer and facilitator?

Working with this class in particular, has deepened my understanding and compassion for what those who have come from other countries go through. It has made me aware that their current reality may still be heavily influenced by those transition experiences. Working with these students has shown me that they have a lot to teach me about coping and managing change.

It has helped me to understand that preparing people to make transitions is very important, but it cannot prevent them from going through the feelings associated with the process.