My Business has Cracked: Six Months Later

On February 17, 2009 I admitted My Business has Cracked.  Here I am six months later, and out of the chaos things are starting to fall into place.

Who am I?

Just like any trauma or transition, a big part of picking up the pieces in business crisis has been going to the core of who I am. Examining my gifts and strengths, through the lens of my personal values. At the core has been fully embracing myself as an artist, and returning that part of me to my daily life. Rearranging my office to include studio space, starting each day painitng..

Until this turning point, I had been spending my time trying to do all the parts of the business that were problematic. The trouble was I didn’t have the skills to fix them, that’s why they were messed up in the first place. I realized spending my time trying to force myself to learn things I hated wasn’t very efficient and wasn’t an effective use of my time.

I needed space to think. My strength is on the strategic level rather than the tactical. I needed to stop driving myself into the ground by working too many hours spinning my wheels.

Becoming willing to throw it all away

I have money locked up in inventory.  It was the 500 pound gorilla living in the garage. My fear of losing that money, and the friend who had invested it, was paralyzing. In start up we made several assumptions that turned out to be false. The markets were shifting, many of our contacts had lost their jobs. Any semblance of business model had shredded.

That’s when I decided to paint. With brushes on paper rather than on the computer screen. Something I hadn’t done in fifteen years. Going back to the place I have found answers since I was a small child. To the creative. The practice of putting marks on paper. I stopped responding to the should lists in my head. Stopped working on the never ending lists of things that someone thought might help. Became willing to let it all go and watch for a sign that there was a new possible direction.

Rearranging the pieces

There have been many changes inside the business. It’s still under the surface, brewing. Our public face hasn’t caught up yet. We have a very exciting new distribution partner we will be announcing soon. We have a new product line geared toward individual exploration that is being tested and developed. We will add gallery sections to the websites to make the images available in new formats. We are taking the resources we have and looking at new ways to put them out into the world. We are giving up who people think we should be, and going with who we really are.

How does painting help business?

It’s the core of VisualsSpeak. Allowing the subconscious and unconscious parts of my brain to be activated by the images. I wake up with images in my head. As I put them on paper, they start to speak to me. It starts to allow new stories to emerge, as long as I don’t override them with the habitual stories that are in my head. Or start worrying about designing the image. I have to let go of creating a product, and focus on the process of what is emerging.

I suspect it is similar for my business partner Tom. His primary medium is photography, so as he has returned to focus on being behind the lens, his relationship to the business has shifted too.

Any practice that allows different parts of our being to emerge is critical to getting through a transition, of any kind. Other parts have been regular exercise, eating right, spending time with those I love and care about. Having a life where a business is part of it, instead of having a business with a life as part of it.

Good things to come

I’m hopeful. The path of possibilities is starting to become clear. I’m seeing new ways of doing business that will be more collaborative, and feed my desire to work more closely with others. I am feeling incredibly grateful for the network of people who are supporting this process, feeding me with ideas and support to make it happen. It has taken a big team, so you’ll be hearing more about them soon.

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