Ellen DeGeneres made a video about the most recent rash of bullying that has resulted in the death of gay teens. It’s certainly not the first time I’ve thought about it, since I have a nephew I worry about regularly.
I don’t have kids. I don’t have much contact with kids. I don’t think that gets me off the hook, but I wonder what I can do. If I had teens, I imagine I would talk with them to them about diversity, acceptance, and standing up to intolerance. But I’m not sure that would be enough. Group think and peer pressure can create frightening dynamics that are difficult enough for adults to counteract, and can be particularly hard to stop as a teen.
Supporting kids at risk
There are some things I know I can do. When I see a kid that is different, I can make an effort to talk with them, and counter some of the messages they are hearing. I absolutely talk about the realities of being different with the kids in my life, and proactively ask them about teasing, bullying and hate crimes they might be exposed to. I want them to know they can talk to me about anything they are experiencing, and that I am willing to be an advocate. Of course, that doesn’t mean they can get to me when they need help, as I live across the country from the majority of my family.
The VisualsSpeak tools I’ve designed are used with teens by some of our customers. Is that enough? I’ve never felt competent working with kids, I’m certainly not naturally good at it. But I bet there is someone who is good at working with preventing bullying. Perhaps someone who could help us develop a specialized tool?
What else can be done?
Like so many other important aspects in life, all of this feels like a tiny drop in an ocean of problem. Part of me knows that each of us has an opportunity to make a difference, but it’s most effective when aligned with our individual skills and strengths. I wake up every day and work to create tools to help people connect deeper, reach across differences, and understand each other better. It just doesn’t feel like enough in the face of the giant problems in the world.
Here are some suggestions from around the web:
The Human Rights Campaign is asking people to send messages to Ask Secretary of Education Arne Duncan: Include gender identity and sexual orientation in anti-bullying programs.
As always, Patti Digh is speaking out, and has a list of 12 action steps we can all take to move beyond just clicking a like button and doing something more.
Teens Health has resources and information on bullying.
What do you do?
I like to hear your comments and stay in touch.
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