How can we define culture by what it is not? After all, don’t we define culture based on what it is such as our values, languages, religions, etc? Anthropologists talk of worldview, which also includes basic assumptions about how things work. Values are derivative of worldview.

I’m going to share with you how I learned a little about my European American culture through a story a friend told me recently and how I came to see my own culture a little clearer because of what it isn’t.

But before I do, let me give you some things to snack on.

A little about me

I am a European American male. 51 years old. My parents are from Irish and Scottish stock. I was raised and spent most of my life in the Northeast. Now living in the Pacific Northwest.

Verbalizing European American culture

I know when I’m asked to talk about my culture, I sometimes have difficulty doing so. I have to think about it and usually come up with some kind of generic answer. I have heard the same sorts of responses from other European Americans (EA).

For example these are some of the responses I have given and have also heard other EA’s say.

• I’m American
• We’re all Americans (When we start to drill down into this response, we don’t have to go very far to discover that there are big differences in what this means depending on who is speaking

I celebrate

• The 4th of July
• Thanksgiving
• Christmas

In my family we acknowledged our Irish background by celebrating St Patrick’s Day. My stomach still turns over when I think of all that over-boiled corned beef and cabbage I was made to eat.

Somehow all of these things leave me with a feeling that something is missing. There’s more to the story, but I can’t put my finger on it.

Lost in St Louis

As I mentioned, a friend told me a story recently that gave me greater insight into my own culture. Let’s call him Michael.

Michael is from the Northwest and holds numerous high level degrees. The word brilliant comes to mind when I think about him. A thirst for knowledge, curiosity, and making relevance of the world has been his path through life.

A number of years ago, Michael attended a professional conference in St Louis, Missouri. He decides to save money by taking a bus instead of a taxi to his hotel. Unfortunately, he finds out that the bus line ends far away from his hotel. Now he is lost and is walking around trying to find another connection to his hotel. After an hour of walking in business attire, he finds himself on the edge of Washington University. Michael has never been to this city, so everything is new.

At some point in his wanderings, he notices a sheriff is following him. What makes the act so apparent is that the sheriff is in an official car and driving at the speed Michael is walking. There is no attempt to conceal the surveillance. Michael makes nothing of this at first chalking it up to a bored cop with nothing better to do.

After two, or has it been three, hours of this, Michael is feeling panicked. He cannot understand why he has drawn the attention of this sheriff. He has no history in St. Louis, so no reason to be harassed. He is well dressed and has broken no laws. He is a professional not some street thug in need of chaperoning.

He is lost and feeling desperate. He tries to call a cab from a phone booth, but the cab company wants to know ‘where’r you at’. He doesn’t understand the question. He’s telling them the location. He goes into an Asian restaurant to get change to call another cab. The workers look at him with fear and suspicion. They nervously inspect his money and give him change. Finally someone tells him that in St. Louis, cabs will only pick up people at a specific location such as at a restaurant. Unwritten rules.

What Michael didn’t know at the time was that the county had a sort of curfew in effect. The curfew was not geared towards protecting children by ensuring they were home at a safe hour. It was a local rule aimed at keeping specific groups of people off the streets. There were no signs spelling out the curfew guidelines, so only the locals would know of its existence.

The one qualification a person had to have for the curfew to apply to them was being non-white. You see, Michael is African American. He didn’t know the rules that governed African Americans in that part of the country, because they were enforced but not advertised like so many of these types of rules..

Defining culture by what it’s not

Hearing this story helped me to understand my European American culture better not because I had never heard of this sort of experience before. It helped me, because I realized that I would never expect this to happen to me. It is not in my consciousness or part of my life experience.

What isn’t defines what is

In the art world, there is a term called negative space. It is used to describe the space around an object or form. Negative space is as important to the overall purpose of the work as is the primary focal point, because it gives the work context.

This term is not used as a value judgment. There is no good or bad, right or wrong. It is just context.

Michael’s story is, in a sense, the negative space that gives more context to my experience as a European American. It is about what my experience has not been.

A reverse view of injustice

Part of what all of this is about is coming to understand white privilege. For me, the concept of white privilege has been more about the conscious attitudes of European Americans.

What I’m realizing is that there is an unconscious aspect that has to do with what I don’t ever expect to happen to me. When I was young and had long hair, I did expect the possibility of being harassed by a redneck cop. If my hair had been short I wouldn’t have expected it. But what I never would have expected then or now is to be followed around for hours because of my skin color. It’s not in my consciousness.

I have been aware for a long time that there is discrimination for many people in housing, job promotions, getting credit, etc. Yet, as a European American I have never had the conscious expectation that any of this would happen to me.

For example, I would never expect to be discriminated against for:

• Getting a job
• Being promoted
• Buying a car
• Purchasing a house
• Renting an apartment

I know this happens to others, but the possibility of it happening to me is not in my consciousness when I go about these activities. I never think to myself ‘I wonder if this person is going to treat me fairly because of my skin color’.

No scientific poll needed

I think it’s pretty safe to say that we don’t need a scientific poll to say that many non-dominant groups have the expectation that they may face discrimination in everyday encounters.

This expectation is something that a big percentage of US citizens live with every day of their lives.

And even though we may not be consciously aware of it, not having an expectation that it could happen to us, partly defines European American culture. It’s the negative space of our culture or worldview. The part defined by what it is not.

Incremental learning and diversity

I have found that becoming culturally aware and learning about diversity is about gaining insight through many small, incremental steps. Generally speaking there aren’t a lot of big ah-ha moments, although Michael’s story might be one, because it has caused me to reflect deeply. The reverberations have been many.

For me, understanding diversity and culture is a life-long process. I don’t think I’ll ever arrive at a point where I can say I know what it’s all about. There are layers and layers to uncover. And the layers shift as societies shift. Everything is in movement. Consciousness evolves. Understanding evolves.

What’s your perspective?

• How do you define your culture?
• What is the ‘negative space’ or unconscious parts of understanding cultural?
• What insights can you share to help others understand culture?